Grey Face Makes Its First Appearance 01/29/2022

Grey Face was created as a way for me to convey feelings that I had stuffed away in dusty boxes. Freeing those feelings meant I needed a neutral face to wear them. One to live them. 

Few people like to discuss how a toxic or abusive relationship can feel. In my case, it felt like I was trapped in something that was my fault. I felt miserable. So much so that I’d stay up late just to have some alone time where, as my only outlet, I wrote poetry. I’m not much of a poet, but I needed something private that I could express myself with. I wrote a few poems, all of them heartbreaking. I would then box up those feelings and put them on a very pretty shelf in my mind. 

After the divorce, I found myself having symptoms of emotional neglect. I needed to open those boxes. When I finally blew the dust off and peeked inside, I found my poems. I found that same pain I pushed away for so long. Sitting in them for that moment didn’t feel like enough. I needed them to live, to breathe. I was no longer a fitting host. I couldn’t give those feelings the attention they needed. For that need, I made Grey Face.

I started with the theme of the poem and worked inward. Slowly dressing Grey Face in its verses, and how I felt when I wrote it. I put a small piece of myself into it. My emotions flowed from my heart to the end of my brush. When I looked up, I found a living work of art. 

Grey Face lives those feelings so I don’t have to. It saved me the burden and time, taking my place on the line. I share my intimate art with you to provide the same relief I felt with Grey Face’s creation. No matter how pretty the shelf is, it can’t hide the dusty boxes.